Friday, May 31, 2013

Dads Rule!

The other week, in the midst of a very painful time, my Dad (gorgeous and wonderful man that he is) decided to send me the original speech he wrote for my wedding. He wanted to cheer me up. He's a bit of a comedian and loves to get hold of a microphone. During the actual wedding, he swiftly threw aside his prepared speech and winged it. He was excellent. Poignent, funny and on point. I must admit, I was nervous about his speech, knowing he would relish the opportunity to embarrass me. He's the kind of bloke who shows his love and affection by taking the mickey out of you. And I wasn't wrong. Anyway, he did a swell job.

Dad and I in the hotrod on the way to the wedding..
On Wednesday, it was my two year wedding anniversary to my sexy, strong and super smart husband. He is my strength. With his and my Dad's permission, I've decided to continue our celebrations by sharing the original wedding speech with you. I hope you enjoy.

Ladies and Gentlemen. Firstly, I would like to acknowledge the Wurundjeri people as the Traditional Owners of the land on which we are holding this celebration and pay my respects to their Elders, their ancestors and the spirits of their ancestors. As father of the bride I have the pleasure of making the first speech. I have been given lots and lots of advice on what to say and what not to say such as keep it short, no smutty jokes, don’t get drunk before the speeches, no jokes during the ceremony, don’t embarrass me... etc. However it is over 20 years since I was allowed to say anything without being disagreed with, laughed at or ignored, so this is too good an opportunity to miss.

For those of you who don’t know me I’m Bryon, Bindi’s Dad and on behalf of my wife Jan and I, I would like to welcome you all here today to celebrate the marriage of our daughter Bindi to Dani. I would like to welcome Dani’s parents, his sister Anita, Bindi’s grandmother Rita, as well as all our relatives and friends. I know a lot of you have travelled considerable distances to be here. Before I go any further, I would just like to acknowledge some very important people that could not be here today. Your grandfather, Ron in California and your other grandfather, Stan in Queensland, send their love for you and Dani and wish you all the best for the future together. Your Nan is here looking over you and smiling.

Bindi, I wish your Mum could be here with you on this special day, but I know she is here in spirit and she would be so proud of you.

Dad during his speech..
Today, I must admit that I am the proudest dad in the world. I think that you will all agree that Bindi looks stunning. This is where I am supposed to say a few embarrassing things about her when she was younger, so I have prepared a list. Bindi was born on the 3rd of February, 1975, in the same hospital, delivered by the same doctor who delivered her Mum 21 years previously. I remember it clearly, the dawn was breaking as I held her in my arms for the very first time. Her name means Morning Star. I remember the time that I had to take Bindi into hospital because her arm was dislocated. She was about 18 months old and we had been playing wizzy dizzy's. I was swinging her between my legs and unfortunately her shoulder gave way. I was questioned by childrens services because they thought I might have been abusing her, I wasn't, but Bindi was put on a special diet because we had overfed her and she reminded everyone of the Michelin Man. Every time she opened her mouth, we put food in it. 

Bindi looks absolutely gorgeous doesn’t she but it doesn’t seem all that very long ago that she was running around the house naked, throwing her little tantrums and wetting her knickers leaving a puddle in aisle two of the supermarket. Just a typical teenager really. But time has really flown by and she’s been brought up to be decent, caring and honest or so she tells us. Truthfully, Bindi has grown into an amazingly talented, good looking woman that any father would be proud of.

Dad and I after the ceremony..
And now to Dani. Every Father hopes his daughter will find a reliable, sensible, and considerate partner and as much as you try not to interfere in their lives, you always hope your children will make the right choices in life. But Bindi chose Dani. Seriously though, I have a lot of respect for Dani. He is his own man, knows what he wants and is prepared to stand up for what he believes in. He is also a traditional man and I liked that he came to me and asked for my permission to ask my daughter to marry him. I knew that if I said no, Bindi would kill me, so I was happy to accept Dani’s offer of a carton of scotch as a bribe. 

To help you with your marriage, I thought I would give you some advice based on my many years of experience of married life. Marriage will teach you many things: loyalty, self restraint, obedience. I am still learning about all these things every day.
There is no problem in a marriage that can’t be overcome by one or more of the following:

I was wrong!
You were right!
I love you!
And the best one of all that I have found...

Yes Dear.

Finally, never go to bed in the middle of an argument. Be a man stay up, fight and then watch some sport. You’ve lost anyway so you might as well get it over with.
The actor Richard Burton once said ‘a woman accepts a man for what he is and then spends the rest of her life trying to change him.’ So, if we can all take one last look at Dani as we know him because Bindi’s remodelling work starts first thing in the morning.

I want to finish with one or two final thoughts. Dani, I know you will try your best to look after and care for Bindi, but if you have problems, tough, they are your problems, don’t come running to me. But seriously, marriage is the meeting of two minds, two hearts, two souls and in this case, two cultures. Macedonian and Aboriginal. It is clear that Dani and Bindi are a perfect example of this. May they be blessed with happiness that grows and with love that lasts and a peaceful life together. I wish them enjoyment for today, the fulfilment of all their hopes and dreams for tomorrow and love and happiness always. It is now my pleasure to propose a toast to the happy couple. Please be upstanding and raise your glasses to the bride and groom.

Question: Do you have a memorable Dad's wedding speech moment?

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